eat , drink , enjoy !

whatayawaiting 4 ?

by RPK

This piece of green estatic advice has been taken from
Malaysia's Most present & truthful Political Blog ,
Malaysia Today

No wonder ardent health fanatic & happy-go-lucky Writer of the Century Mr RPK is always so healthy & enjoys a perpetual holiday , somewhere , even as you read this ground breaking revelation from his personal Doctor , which he has kindly consented to share with you

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Don't waste it on exercise.

Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer. That's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.

Want to live longer? Take a nap !

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp
logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn!

And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken.

Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).

And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up !

Anyway, 1% of traffic accidents are caused by drunk drivers. So people who don’t drink are very dangerous because they cause 99% of traffic accidents.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.

If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain ... Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.

In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.

You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO … Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!!

It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions

you may have had about food and diets.


And remember: 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand, chocolate in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, 'WOO HOO, what a Ride!'AND.....For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

1. Eat and drink what you like.

2. Speaking American English is apparently what kills you.

3. Today is a gift. That is why it is called 'The Present'

thank you Mr RPK...

Comments

wmw said…
HAHA...like the part of non drinkers causing 99% of accidents!
Hazza said…
lol, like the person who cut his pear into quarters and said he had 4 portions of fruit that day!
CUMI & CIKI said…
ROFL! DAMN farnee man.. I luv d one bout skidding sideways into heaven, booze in hand! Hoho... Also want grain, eat chicken!
;) am now in a mtg. Ths article picked up my mood la.. Hva gr8 thurs..
Ooh yeah this has been making the email rounds as well! Best health advice I've heard EVER! And the moral of the story is... as you WERE! :-D
Bangsar-bAbE said…
ROFL! I love the "You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach"!! Farnee la you! =P
wmw
Before driving,ensure alchohol level is tiptop !

Haza
We can be fat if we indulge in many small doses

Cumiciki
Be careful ah !

550ml
That is perfect advise !

Bbabe
Now the svelte secret's out !
That explains your dangerous & beautiful Glutton's perfect waistline !
NyonyaChef said…
You reminds me during the SARS...we were having a booze marathon for 90 days no stop!...now it's the swine flu !...erh..let's DO IT again
Nic (KHKL) said…
eat, drink and enjoy indeed. cos we will never know what will happen next. who would have thought mr billie jean would leave us so early. sigh...
nyonya chef
the older we are ( after 5 years) the stronger and faster we become !

nic
thank god you are already doing that with all the colors !
Billie Jean was really Bad and all becoz he wanted to be a
Black & White
Selba said…
Hahaha..... what a great funny post! Love this post!